Cancer at 34

I could never expect to find a diagnosis of Cancer at my door. Not at the spring age of 34. And that is why I returned to this poem from the 12th-century Persian poet Rumi — entitled "The Guest House". It inspires me so as I undergo the trials of this cancer treatment. And it is my hope, that these reflections of mine, shall bring levity to the sensible topic of hosting Cancer as a guest — at any spring of Life.

Firstly — I feel truly blessed to be supported by an excellent medical team and my family's loving care. My doctor explained my diagnosis and treatment in such a realistic & hopeful manner — something she told me that had a rather remarkable effect on me was this: 

— Do not feel like a bolt of lightning just struck your head (which is a rather appropriate description of how I felt when I received the diagnosis and, above all when I felt the physical pain that came before it). Unfortunately, Cancer is a common and ancient disease.  

— Now, let's heal it. 

"This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, 

who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, 

still treat each guest honorably. 

He may be clearing you out for some new delight."

The reality is that this unexpected, uninvited guest was already inside my 'home'. It had already unpacked its luggage and rearranged the furniture to its own will. I could not help but wonder — How could I not noticed before? But in reflection, deep down, I knew something was off. I had some telling dreams for a while. A physical exhaustion that wouldn't go away despite my best practices to nurture my body. Our physical body is always sending us instinctive messages.

This is a process of acceptance. And healing.

My first lesson was that allowing ourselves to digest what transpires is paramount. Then, we can accept it and heal. And the hard truth is...it is sad. However, I do not believe in feeling sorry for oneself. I do believe in self-evolvement, self-reverence, and self-love. We do not need to make sense of it all at once. Either we need certainty of total healing in order to be optimistic, because the reality is that there is no real certainty in Life. Would you agree?

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But rather, we shall be open to be healed.

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Be open to being enlightened by Life (God) through the process of healing. Moment to moment. No matter what your spiritual practices are — however you connect to that Light within your Heart — let that Breath of Life heal you.

Self-Reverence.

Despite the external chaos, there is a place inside us that only we can enter. Our essence. Always there. Our private sanctuary. We shall find all that we need there to heal. At any time. A place to reflect. To release. To bring ease. And allow new ways of seeing things. Every challenge that transpires in our Life is designed to nudge us to grow and evolve. Hence, it is essential to be gentle with ourselves. Self-Reverence.

Beyond our pain, shame and traumas — sprawl joy, sovereignty, self-respect, and courage. To honour our SELF is to honour our HEART. To honour the ESSENCE of who we are and to experience the profound effect of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I believe every disease in our physical body has an emotional root. So I knew this challenge that was presented to me now emphasised something profound for me to heal and evolve. Self-love can be practised in many ways — but certainly, Self-Love is about being HONEST with our SELF. To have intimacy with ourselves. To allow the voices in our heads tospeak so that we can engage our discernment, knowing that we are not avoiding shadows — but instead, shining Light on them. It isn't always easy to do so, to sit with engrained beliefs that we subconsciously created and have the conscious capacity to overcome these thoughts. But that is what true Self-Love is, isn't it? To give Love to every part of us. To allow ourselves to unpack our emotional habits. Firstly, accepting our emotions as they are. True and true. Unescorted by reason. No need to refine it. Just let it be seen. And be gentle with it.

"The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in."

Accepting responsibility for the fact that our SELF — and our SELF only can grant us that sovereignty — is quite humbling. We are the only ones responsible for the weight in our hearts. No matter what or who could have caused hurt. We are the only ones responsible for the purity of our hearts. Once I've read that resentment is like a poison to our cells. Forgiveness is truly that Life giving. Ah, to delight ourselves in the virtue of forgiveness! It is refreshing and replenishing. It allows us to be in the present moment with an open heart.

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Our capacity to forgive shall determine our vitality.

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For years now, the practice of Self-Love and Self-Development has been fundamental in my Life. As a matter of fact, this is the core essence of this new endeavour of mine called Venusian Sun Day — to inspire you to evolve in Beauty, to love Life unconditionally, to be intimate with your essence — intimacy with your Heart. When we honour ourselves, a different reality presents itself as our will.

Prayer. You are never alone.

To open ourselves up to the state of vitality and health even when disease is still present. A shift from fear to faith can bring about miraculous restoration.

Fear is a natural feeling, part of the human experience, but it is not a place to bask in. Let us acknowledge the fear and rise above it. Accepting what is happening now has helped me move from sorrow to hope. Hope to serenity. Serenity because I trust Life (God). I trust that no matter what — I am surrounded by Love. I am Love. I am safe.

Faith is strength. Have Faith.

Time to heal. Claiming our sacred home. 

— Now it is time for you to pack your luggage and leave this home of mine. You will find no sanctuary here — for I am healing. I am healthy. 

Talk to your body. Affirm that you are healthy. Trust that.

The treatment I've started has been a rather long journey — I knew there would be highs and lows, as Life does — but still, it surprised me how challenging it is. Anxiety is normal, I suppose. No certainties. But I am open to total healing. I am optimistic, hopeful, reflective, and humbled by Life. Above all, grateful for Life.

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Perhaps you know someone going through a similar experience and feel inspired to share these words with them. I say this from the bottom of my Heart: Feeling the care from people around us in a vulnerable moment like this has a profound healing effect. Each caring gesture makes us feel stronger. I will never forget the power of simple gestures — bonds rooted in genuine care. Having someone you appreciate tell you everything will be alright has a profound impact. 

My diagnosis of Cancer transpired weeks before my 35th birthday. As an astrologer, I knew that was the best time to deal with it — because of all the renewed energy of my Sun (Solar Return) evoking my life force energy, enhancing my vitality. 

The best time to celebrate Life. The best time to light a candle and make a wish. And well, this time, my birthday wish is no secret. 

— Vitality. Today and all my tomorrows!

Heavenly timing, isn't it? I believe Life is designed that way. Life is always supporting us to evolve.

"Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond."

Love Thyself. Honour your essence.

Love, Daniela